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This is my most embarrassing hookup story

It was a cold February morning. It was a morning that I will never forget.  I was hanging out on jack’d just seeing what’s up. I was going through a fun drought at that point. Then this Jamaican hottie messaged me.

I almost ignored him because I thought it was just spam but he kept saying ‘hey’ ‘hello’ ‘wuts up’ I decided to reply

‘Hey whats good?’

‘I like big dudes. You wanna come over?’

‘Hmm I think I have some time later’ I replied not wanting to sound desperate.

‘cool what do you like to do?’

I told him what I was into

‘That’s whats up. I jus wanna suck your dick and you nut in me is dat coo?’

‘Sure’ I replied.

‘Aiight so what time?”

I told him I could be there around 2pm and he agreed.

I drive half an hour and my mind is racing

He actually lived a bit far but I didn’t care. It had been awhile since I’d gotten any and this guy was hot. So many things were going through my mind:

“Was this guy for real?”

“What if I get robbed or something?”

“What if I got a fake address and just wasted my gas” (gas was like $5 a gallon at the time).

I get to the apartment building and some men are kinda looking at me. Already I don’t have a good feeling but they didn’t look that big so I figured I could take them if anything happened.

I get to his door and knock. He opens the door, nods his head, and says ‘whats up?’ ‘you find the place okay?” . To which I replied ‘yes’.

His apartment was a standard single dude’s apartment.Kinda messy, brown carpet from the 80’s, with a big screen tv hooked up to a play station. I remember Call of duty was on his screen.

It reeked of marijuana…

He told me to sit on the couch and get comfortable.

I’m still a bit nervous but I comply.  He sits next to me and starts rubbing my leg.

“Relax dawg ain’t nuttin bad gonna happen”.

“I know” I replied.

He rubs my leg a little more and then starts to put his hand up my shirt and then kissing me. Then he started sucking my neck. That felt really good and all my tension went away.

He must of sensed that because he said ‘yeah there you go’

The ego crush

My eyes were closed and he unzips my pants and grabs my dick. I feel his mouth on my dick for just a second and then he says ‘yo bruh what da fuq are these?”

It was like the record stretch down played as I instantly came out of my good trance and I said

“What do you mean?”

How soon can you be debt free?

He said ‘Those” and pointed to my dick.

I still didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Those white things whatdafuck are those?!”

Then I realized he was talking about my pearly penile papules.

“They’re just my pearly penile papules whats the problem?”

He just looked at me. I could feel my dignity being drained away…

“Bruh I asked if you were clean and you said yeah! I gotta baby momma to think about”

“I am clean! Those are natural there’s nothing wrong with me!”

He just shook his head and said.

“I’m not saying you’re a liar but I am saying I can’t do this. Sorry”

I felt crushed. I really wanted to get to know this guy and see where else it could go.

“Are you serious? You’ve never seen those before?”

“Nah I don’t mess with dudes that much”

“Here let me show you on my phone I…”

“No need bruh the mood is gone now”

I was just in shock and looked dumb founded.  After what felt like an eternity he said “you want some water before you leave?”.  “I’m good I replied”.

I just got up and left and turned on Whitney Houston in the car and begin sobbing a little.

Never again!

My phone rang and it was my safety friend. I always told her before I was about to go to a guy’s house in case I came up missing someone would know what happened to me.

She asked how it went and I told her.

“I’m so sorry. Fuck that guy” she replied.

Thanks I said

We talked a little more and then she sent me this site on how to get rid of pearly penile papules. I was skeptical but I decided to read it. It had inexpensive treatments like castor oil, tooth paste, and other natural remedies. I decided to just get the full guide and try it.

I decided to try the castor oil + tea tree oil method.

It worked! After about 3 months my PP’s were nearly gone.  For once I could feel confident again hooking up with guys.

A twist

No kidding 8 months later I get a weird text on my phone.  It’s him. I guess he decided to hit me up. Sorry for him though I wasn’t about to entertain someone that put me through all that!

I’ll let you read my responses to his ass…

 

How soon can you be debt free?

1 Comment
  1. Devon 12 months ago

    I tried this! I was so embarrassed be my PPP’s. Mine were big and guys would freak out and think that I had warts or something. Th last straw was when I met this really cute guy off jack’d. We were ready to go when he say my dick. He just said ‘sorry bruh’ and walked out. I was devastated. That’s why I bought the book. The book has a lot of good tips in it! I just wish it was free but I guess you get what you pay for.. I would recommend if you really want to get rid of them that you get the book to learn some extra tips and how exactly to use the home fixes.

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